What To Do When...

I had someone ask me recently "What a person should do, when someone dies?" Having just recently been through the days after my Grandma's death, I had some thoughts. I know it is kind of a sad thing to post about, but really how much do you know about these kind of things? My hope is that this will be helpful for you, for when you are at a place where you are helping loved ones or a friends through a loss.

Just as a neighbor, caring for another neighbor or friend:

1) A sympathy card, whether immediately or in a few weeks...always a good idea.
2) You'd like to cook something. Think about a couple of things- one something that might be good to snack on, that doesn't take up a lot of space in the fridge or can be thrown in the freezer. Or even consider offering to help during a family meal following the services. Please keep in mind food allergies. You'd be surprised how many people are allergic to nuts, mushrooms, etc. If you cook something, consider dishes that do not have to be returned. Bring paper plates with you.
3) If you visit their home, be sure not to linger too long. A visit doesn't have to be long to be a comfort to someone. You'll know if the people would like for you to stay.
4) A lot of times people are going through a vast array of emotions. They'll have a difficult time focusing, make choices, they may seem distant or they may cry at the drop of a hat. Just remember to be senstive, there isn't much you can say other than "I am sorry". Hang out and just be helpful. Presence is a great gift to someone in distress.

If your in a home, where people are gathered together after a loved one's death:

1) Play with kids. Keep them calm and tend to their needs.
2) Keep the dishes washed.
3) Answer the phone and take messages/screen calls.
4) Receive flowers and make a list of expressions of sympathy that come in.
5) Just sit with those grieving and hang out.
6) Help plan meals for the family.